Once in a Lifetime

                Grand Rapids.  It’s not a half bad city.  It’s nicer than Detroit and it actually looks cool from the freeway.  Even so, I’d rather not be dragged there for the weekend. 

                My mom was raised by Republican farm folks in Montana who belted you for talking back.  My dad was raised by a drunken, disillusioned Vietnam vet and a mom who had to deal with a boatload of children.  Needless to say, both of them turned out to be strict parents.  There was no Xbox, no PlayStation, no Wii, no technology of any kind really until one year they finally gave in and got my sister and I each a Nintendo DS.  It was better than nothing.  I didn’t have a phone until 8^th Grade, and even then it was an old-fashioned flip phone.  I couldn’t be home alone until high school.  I have to do a sport or get a job.  My mom threatened me by saying I had to get a full ride scholarship or else I’d be going to OCC.  Luckily my dad calmed her down.

                I’ve seen movies and read stories about kids growing up to basically become their parents.  I don’t think that’s true.  I think that we are shaped as people not simply by the people around us, the events that happen to us, and the challenges that face us, but by how we choose to react to those pressures.  My mother reacted to her parents by joining a shady group of friends-but when that turned out the wrong way, she went back to the ways of her parents.  My father reacted by swearing he’d never be like his father.  He’s still paying off student loans from college.  He’s done arguably the best of any of his many siblings. 

                When it comes to life, you can choose the path you want to take.  You can accept that the challenge is too difficult and watch your happiness fade, or you can accept that challenges can be overcome.  It is those who overcome challenges who succeed.

                My parents have been overcoming challenges their whole life.  I understand where they’re coming from.  I understand that they want me to overcome the challenges too.

                I’d just rather not be dragged to Grand Rapids.  To me that seems counterproductive.  I guess I just don’t fit with my parents’ image of spending every waking hour thinking of the future and preparing for it.  I’d like to enjoy myself a little first.

                

                (Today's title is from the song Once in a Lifetime by Talking Heads)

Wanderer Above a Sea of Fog

                “Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog” by Caspar David Friedrich

              

It had been a long walk;
Or, perhaps, it could be better described as a climb.

Now he is here.

The rocks below him are jagged.  What force of nature had driven them to be so?

Certainly nature has power but…what kind of creation is this?

Now as he stands above the abyss he can see the violent past of these rocks.

But nature attempts to hide this violence.  It covers the scars with a layer of fog,

So that the wanderer may not be disturbed by what he sees.

The wanderer however is not disturbed. 

The wanderer is awestruck by the beauty of nature’s creation.

Somehow from the violent past of these rocks has been born a truth.

The world is scarred.

And despite how the world tries to hide these scars every day,

It is exactly these scars that have made us who we are;

It is exactly these scars that make us, the human race, beautiful.

The wanderer could ask what’s underneath the fog,

But in truth he already knows. 

Underneath this fog is potential beauty.

It is beauty that we do not allow ourselves to see

Because we are afraid that we will poison it with our gaze.

There is no mystery here.  There is only beauty.

Angels Among Us

                The world needs heroes.

                And I believe they are out there.

                What is a hero?  Certainly there isn’t a Superman or a Captain America or a Batman out there.  But a hero doesn’t have to be super.  A hero doesn’t have to be the perfect definition of a human being.  For some the U.S. soldier is a hero.  I’m sure when a platoon in Afghanistan delivers Red Cross packages to children and then plays soccer with them for a while, those kids have a new hero.  For some people it’s their mom or their dad or their teacher or a kind neighbor or a brave firefighter.  It could be a friend or a stranger or God or a priest or anyone else who has touched their life.  Anyone could be a hero.  I doubt many heroes are perfect.  They each have their flaws, but that doesn’t make them any less a hero. 

                The title I chose today is the name of a song by the old country band Alabama.  It’s about how everyday people can be angels to others with something as simple as a kind word. 

                Although the people of this world doubt themselves and doubt each other, heroes exist.  We see what we want to see.  When we look for the faults, we can see only faults.  When we look for heroes…they aren’t hard to find at all.

Gone With the Wind

                Nancy Mairs might be a good person.  I haven’t seen any evidence against it, so I guess I have to assume she is.  But just because someone is a good person doesn’t mean I have to agree with them.

                Nancy Mairs wanted disabilities to be displayed in everyday life like commercials and TV shows in a way that makes them seem normal to the rest of society.

                There’s one problem with that.  Advertisers don’t care.  Television shows don’t care.  Pop culture in general DOESN’T CARE.

                This is one of those problems like atheists complaining about a Christmas tree in the White House.  They look for something “offensive” to complain about, formulate an argument, and try to gain followers for something as pointless as renaming a Christmas tree in the White House to the Holiday tree to “please” non-Christians.  In case you didn’t know, the Christmas tree is for Christmas-not Kwanzaa, Hanukah, or any other celebration of any religion.  If you wanted to honor another religion then put up a menorah or something in the White House.  That’s like social issues and television-they don’t mix.  TV shows do not have a responsibility to reflect modern society; they have a responsibility to entertain the masses. 

                I know how it feels to be told there’s something wrong with you.  I really do.  But just because something is wrong with you doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly entitled to change the world to suit your wishes.  Just like how there will always be racist people, there will always be people who see disability as irregular.  Trust me, we all know it exists, we already see plenty of it from day to day.  When it comes down to it though, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

(In case you didn’t know that last line is from Gone With the Wind)

A Short Essay on Success

“If you think you are beaten, you are.

If you think you dare not, you don’t.

If you like to win, but think you can’t, it is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost.

For out in the world, we find

Success begins with a fellow’s will-it’s all in the state of mind.

               

Life’s battles don’t always go

To the stronger or faster man,

But sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.”

-Anonymous

                Did I write this?

                No, my name is not anonymous.  This is so amazing that I would have put my name on it if I wrote it. 

                My dad always recites this for me.  He has it memorized.

                As you’ve probably guessed, I’m on Walter’s side in A Raisin in the Sun.  That man has an honest dream, and he believes he can succeed with it, and for that I commend and support him.  I don’t care what color your skin is, what religion you follow, or anything else that makes us all different; as long as you understand that your culture, your history, your disadvantages, your “limits,” and your failures are no reason to quit trying to succeed. 

Bittersweet Symphony

                I’ve heard people talk about how it’s too hard to move up in the world because the competition is so far ahead and so ruthless in its tactics.

                But looking at the competition of the late 1800s and early 1900s, it’s clear that moving up is possible.

                You may say something to the effect of “business now isn’t like it was in the past,” but did you consider that maybe you aren’t like the Americans of the past?

                During the time these men were advancing to power, the United States was fairly fresh out of a Civil War that tested “whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure.” Those would be the words of the Gettysburg Address.

                According to Lincoln, what was that nation dedicated to?

                It was “dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

                All men are created equal.  There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  “Created equal” does not mean that the government sees them as equal.  It means that they are created equal by their Creator,  who, according to the Declaration of Independence, endows each and every man “with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

                “Pursuit of Happiness.” Read that again.  I’m pretty sure it still says “Pursuit of Happiness.” If you haven’t caught the message yet, read it again, and I’ll help you out this time; “Pursuit of Happiness.”

                Now let’s look at the synonyms of pursuit.  They are as follows, according to the results on Bing: “striving toward, quest after/for, search for, aim, goal, objective, dream.”

                I’m fairly certain that “lack of adversity,” “being provided happiness by the government or another power,” and “everyone being cordial and nice and helping you to happiness” were not in there.  Did you want to read through the synonyms again?

                “striving toward, quest after/for, search for, aim, goal, objective, dream.”

                Hopefully you got it the second time.

                If you haven’t noticed, we will all face adversity in our lifetimes.  The rich of the Industrial Revolution certainly didn’t go without it.  The women who fought for the right to vote and the blacks who fought for equality and the men who founded the nation that gives you the right to pursue happiness certainly didn’t have it easy.

                I don’t have it easy.  I’ve got an immune deficiency that may prevent me from fulfilling my dream of serving my country. 

                Nearly every single day I can hear someone complain about an insult from a person who honestly won’t matter to them in the long run, or about how they’re depressed because they never seem to be able to get what they want, or some other complaint relating to how the world doesn’t provide for their every whim.  Maybe we’re just a bunch of pansies now.

                We all face adversity.  Throughout history and up to the present there have always been obstacles.  Those who succeed are the people who overcome those obstacles.  You have to have the courage to overcome the obstacles.  Sometimes life will suck, but you can overcome, just like the Americans of the Civil Rights movement. 

                “It’s a bittersweet symphony this life.”-The Verve

St. Elmo's Fire

                So I guess this week I can get something off my chest, for a moment at least; but I’ll never be able to get it out of my head.  I guess you could say the same about Gatsby.  He could never get his dream out of his head.

                I do have one key difference with Gatsby.  He is fighting to bring back the past; I am working to forget it.  I never will, though, I can’t.  It is a part of me.  Anyone would probably say I’m being too hard on myself, but I don’t think so.  I think I’ve got it about right.

                When I refer to the past, it’s basically the stuff right up until Christmas break of my sophomore year.  A certain something transpired then, but I won’t get into those details.  I’m going to confess to what I thought before, and what torments me from the corner of my mind each and every day. 

                When I was younger I felt like I was entitled to more, that I was entitled to utter happiness.  I guess I kind of got that way after being the kid on the playground who decided what everyone was going to do at recess.  When I moved to Troy halfway through the second grade I didn’t have that power anymore, but I felt like I still deserved it.  My mind started freaking out as it realized the truth.  I was subject to fits of self-pity that would be followed by anger and ended with depression.  In one of my moments of anger I came a few inches from bringing a golf club down on my sister’s head, but common sense caught me just in time.  Then, in the 8^th grade, I utterly annihilated the heart of a friend through Facebook chat (no details, sorry).  Often in the period of depression later I’d sit listening to The Wall, a Pink Floyd album that fit my mood very well.

                As I entered high school I started to improve, I started to learn.  The anger phase was easily skipped if I flipped on depressing music.  Christmas break of my sophomore year provided inspiration, and I refused to let go of it.  I quit the Pink Floyd and started playing music that helped.  I started thinking, too, forming my own solid opinions instead of letting them be controlled by my emotional phase. 

                Yet even today I hear the voice inside that wants to freak out.  Whatever piece of me I’ve stationed to guard its cage feels more and more strained every day.  It’s been months since I’ve gotten another resurgence of strength (Paityn Donaldson will probably know what I’m talking about if she digs into her memory of last year, but I’d appreciate it if she didn’t leave it in the comments when she remembers).  I doubt I’ll ever be free, but there’s no way I’m letting that thing get control of me again.  I've got to get moving.

                Well, that was quite personal.  Wasn’t expecting that, but oh well. 

From the soundtrack of a good movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UaGsbv2skr8