Dreamweaver

                Salutations!

                I think that’s the first time I’ve ever used that word.

                This week we’re going to talk about dreams.  

                Most of us have a dream.  Most of us want to see that dream fulfilled.

                Some of us have a little trouble with that.

                Plenty of people reach their dream.  Some get a piece of it, perhaps a bit more humble than the full dream.  Some people realize their dream isn’t all it was cracked up to be and they decided to live simpler.  Then there are the people who simply don’t have the time, they can’t put together the materials, they miss their one opportunity, etc.

                And then there are the people who have a dream their whole life…

                And then they’re told they can’t.

                And those of us who simply won’t reach our dreams often look for ways to remember what has never been.  We may turn to writing, like Sedaris.  We try to recall memories that we have never lived.  It can sober even the most avid dreamer to know that sometimes there simply isn’t a miracle waiting for you.  You look up and see a smile and think, “Gosh, I wish I had a reason to smile like that.”

                I have a little saying of my own.  If you have a Plan B, then you’re admitting that Plan A won’t work.  Last time I had a Plan B was at the hospital 5 weeks ago.  They decided to numb to veins just in case the first try didn’t work for sticking in the IV.  They stuck the needle straight through my vein, causing some beautiful swelling and bruising that lasted for days.  And it’ll be a couple months before I can use that vein for IVs again.

                In my experience, Plan B sucks.  I can’t remember a time where Plan A worked when I had Plan B to fall back on.  Then as soon as my parents asked me to have a Plan B in life, it began to look like Plan A-my dream-would be shot down.

                And so I write-or, at least, I try to.  I’ve never actually finished a book.  The most I got was 40 pages on Microsoft Word, and then I backspaced it all because it sucked.  I try to feel what I’ve never felt, see what I’ve never seen, know what I’ve never known.  I read nonfiction so that I can write better fiction.  I watch movies to see the emotion.

                I’m sure David Sedaris wanted to feel those excitingly dangerous experiences in Africa as Hugh had.  I’m sure he had a dream of excitement, but the stars simply never aligned.